Hanging Christmas Lights Play by Play
5:10 - Get home from work. Decide that since its over 50 degrees out, tonight is my best chance to get the lights up and do the other outdoor things I needed to do.
5:15 - Get the ladder up in front and realize its not high enough for me to get onto the roof. Also first time I decide it sure would be nice to have someone there helping me.
5:18 - Carry ladder through house to the deck in back where I am able to climb up onto the roof.
5:20 - Begin attaching the clips to the siding to hold the light strand up. Up there I realize I am going to have to get down to do the front of the porch area and then get back up again to finish on the other side. Man I wish I had someone to help me.
6:10 Now pretty dark out but luckily I am working with lights so I can actually see. I get the lights strung up the other side of the gable and realize I am about 2 1/2 foot short.
6:11 - Expletive filled tirade.
6:12 - Decide that maybe I can get another couple feet out of the lights if I start back at the beginning and tighten the clips.
6:15 - First prayer of Thanksgiving that its the end of November but still over 50 degrees and not raining.
6:28 - I have gained about 12 inches, but I digress. :) Anyway I have gained enough extra length that it is just about equal and I decide its time to move onto hanging the garland and lights on the pillars, or so I thought.
6:35 - Krista comes home and decides it looks stupid just having lights on the gable and decides she wants ME to put them up over the garage and over the other 2 bedrooms in front. I think ok, not too hard to do the garage, but I am pretty sure my six foot ladder is not going to traverse the 15 foot difference on the other side of the house.
7:13 - The lights over the garage go up real easy, but I am beginning to wonder how I am going to plug everything in. Light count now stands at 300.
7:45 - Back on the roof again putting the lights and clips up over the spare bedroom with a 15 foot drop to the rocky retaining wall below.
7:52 - Decide that my hands and knees are really starting to hurt from all this climbing around on the roof. And don't even get me started on my back...
8:05 - Dinner time. But its so nice out I decide to eat my biscuits and gravy out on the porch (see even though its a post about christmas lights, I can still talk about food).
8:18 - Light count is now at 400 lights and I am beginning to worry how I am going to plug it all in.
8:34 - We begin to hang the garland on the pillars. 1 pillar done and light count now at 500.
8:42 - Sit and stare at the lights for 10 minutes trying to decide which way to string them all so they all plug in with the minimal amount of cords using terms like male end, female end, butts and dongs, etc.
9:07 - We are now out of prelight garland and we have to start making our own because the dutchman accountant in me decided that was cheaper. But in retrospect not necessarily smarter.
9:16 - Now is a great time to mention that Krista LOVES christmas lights. I learned last year that I am the designated light stringer for the foreseeable future in this relationship. So she is really loving me interupting her Las Vegas to have her help wrap the garland.
9:25 - We now have 2 pillars strung and I realize I left a butt at the bottom of the pillar so I don't know how I am going to plug that in.
9:26 - Shorter, clean expletive filled tirade.
9:38 - Commercial break, and we make the executive decision that we will string the other poles from the other way and leave the butt alone.
10:02 - The pillars are finally done and all the lights work. (Knock on wood). Total light count 800 lights. I take the scooter for a spin down to the road to see how she looks.
10:04 - Mission accomplished. Something for the neighbors to try and top. I couldn't compete with my crappy lawn this summer, that wasn't making anyone jealous. But I would love to see someone try to compete with my light display. Just try me. I have another 5-600 lights just chillin in the box waiting to be called into active duty. Try me neighbors, just try me. And since it still is the country I am just waiting for the first inflatable snowman. Got to love the yard garbage.
10:11 - I now realize I have taken about 5 hours to hang lights and my back and knees are killing me. Boy, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow...
5:15 - Get the ladder up in front and realize its not high enough for me to get onto the roof. Also first time I decide it sure would be nice to have someone there helping me.
5:18 - Carry ladder through house to the deck in back where I am able to climb up onto the roof.
5:20 - Begin attaching the clips to the siding to hold the light strand up. Up there I realize I am going to have to get down to do the front of the porch area and then get back up again to finish on the other side. Man I wish I had someone to help me.
6:10 Now pretty dark out but luckily I am working with lights so I can actually see. I get the lights strung up the other side of the gable and realize I am about 2 1/2 foot short.
6:11 - Expletive filled tirade.
6:12 - Decide that maybe I can get another couple feet out of the lights if I start back at the beginning and tighten the clips.
6:15 - First prayer of Thanksgiving that its the end of November but still over 50 degrees and not raining.
6:28 - I have gained about 12 inches, but I digress. :) Anyway I have gained enough extra length that it is just about equal and I decide its time to move onto hanging the garland and lights on the pillars, or so I thought.
6:35 - Krista comes home and decides it looks stupid just having lights on the gable and decides she wants ME to put them up over the garage and over the other 2 bedrooms in front. I think ok, not too hard to do the garage, but I am pretty sure my six foot ladder is not going to traverse the 15 foot difference on the other side of the house.
7:13 - The lights over the garage go up real easy, but I am beginning to wonder how I am going to plug everything in. Light count now stands at 300.
7:45 - Back on the roof again putting the lights and clips up over the spare bedroom with a 15 foot drop to the rocky retaining wall below.
7:52 - Decide that my hands and knees are really starting to hurt from all this climbing around on the roof. And don't even get me started on my back...
8:05 - Dinner time. But its so nice out I decide to eat my biscuits and gravy out on the porch (see even though its a post about christmas lights, I can still talk about food).
8:18 - Light count is now at 400 lights and I am beginning to worry how I am going to plug it all in.
8:34 - We begin to hang the garland on the pillars. 1 pillar done and light count now at 500.
8:42 - Sit and stare at the lights for 10 minutes trying to decide which way to string them all so they all plug in with the minimal amount of cords using terms like male end, female end, butts and dongs, etc.
9:07 - We are now out of prelight garland and we have to start making our own because the dutchman accountant in me decided that was cheaper. But in retrospect not necessarily smarter.
9:16 - Now is a great time to mention that Krista LOVES christmas lights. I learned last year that I am the designated light stringer for the foreseeable future in this relationship. So she is really loving me interupting her Las Vegas to have her help wrap the garland.
9:25 - We now have 2 pillars strung and I realize I left a butt at the bottom of the pillar so I don't know how I am going to plug that in.
9:26 - Shorter, clean expletive filled tirade.
9:38 - Commercial break, and we make the executive decision that we will string the other poles from the other way and leave the butt alone.
10:02 - The pillars are finally done and all the lights work. (Knock on wood). Total light count 800 lights. I take the scooter for a spin down to the road to see how she looks.
10:04 - Mission accomplished. Something for the neighbors to try and top. I couldn't compete with my crappy lawn this summer, that wasn't making anyone jealous. But I would love to see someone try to compete with my light display. Just try me. I have another 5-600 lights just chillin in the box waiting to be called into active duty. Try me neighbors, just try me. And since it still is the country I am just waiting for the first inflatable snowman. Got to love the yard garbage.
10:11 - I now realize I have taken about 5 hours to hang lights and my back and knees are killing me. Boy, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow...
posted by oldebekn at 12:45 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home